Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
