Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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