Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
