Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
