Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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