is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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