u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
