I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
