you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
