I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize