Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
