yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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