Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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