my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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