my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just found puke in my bra..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
