not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
