Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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