I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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