I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
