I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
