so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
