No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
