I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Randomize
