ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
