blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
