so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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