He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
