I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
