Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
