Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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