shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
