Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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