grandma shit on top of the toilet
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
