i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
