Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
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We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
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She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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