i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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