He asked to "fluff my boner.."
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize