I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
