So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
