You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
