dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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