Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
