The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
