Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
