So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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