margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
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