Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize