I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
