I think my fart just growled at me.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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