I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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