Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize