Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize