Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
