Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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