Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize
