Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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