Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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