wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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