she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
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I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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