I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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